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I AM a Poet

I Wanna Cry

I wanna cry Because I'm afraid to die

I wanna cry Because I feel like God punishes me when I lie

I wanna cry Because I wanna fly

I wanna cry Because as time moves I feel I'm standing by

I wanna cry Because it's hard for me to see the sun when rain is in my sky

I wanna cry Beacause I'm searching for a career not just a job where I wear a tie

I wanna cry Because everyday I wanna smile and be happy but you'll only see me sigh

I wanna cry Because I wanna let people in but I'm afraid they'll eventually say bye

I wanna cry Because I wanna move forward but I'm afraid to try

I wanna cry Because nothing comes out so I pray, but God doesn't hear my cry

With it being National Poetry Month, I decided to share an old poem I wrote while in the midst of one roughest patches I had with depression and anxiety. I wrote this poem exactly 2 years ago one night in my home. What was written was short, but summed up how I felt at that moment and over several years of my life. Even looking at it today, I couldn't even picture who I was, what I looked like, or how I was functioning. I'm honestly embarrassed by reading it and knowing I was in that place, but I AM not a Victim. I AM Strong. We all will have rough patches, but we must know and trust we will survive. Back when I wrote this poem I didn't believe I would make it through. I was so use to being negative that it was more comfortable to stay in that space. I've learned no matter how positive I Am, I will still go through rough patches and experience tough times, but my mindset will determine how long I go through it and what lessons I will learn. I want to THANK YOU again for taking this journey with me!


Derek M. Silver


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