{"items":["5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeb2","5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeb5","5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeb9","5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeba","5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeb7","5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeb4","5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeb6","5fe1f6b1ff99ba0018dfdeb1","5c87bdf6973552001c9e24e3","5c87bdf643f9b4001c2ce7a7"],"styles":{"galleryType":"Columns","groupSize":1,"showArrows":true,"cubeImages":true,"cubeType":"max","cubeRatio":1.7777777777777777,"isVertical":true,"gallerySize":30,"collageAmount":0,"collageDensity":0,"groupTypes":"1","oneRow":false,"imageMargin":5,"galleryMargin":0,"scatter":0,"rotatingScatter":"","chooseBestGroup":true,"smartCrop":false,"hasThumbnails":false,"enableScroll":true,"isGrid":true,"isSlider":false,"isColumns":false,"isSlideshow":false,"cropOnlyFill":false,"fixedColumns":0,"enableInfiniteScroll":true,"isRTL":false,"minItemSize":50,"rotatingGroupTypes":"","rotatingCropRatios":"","columnWidths":"","gallerySliderImageRatio":1.7777777777777777,"numberOfImagesPerRow":3,"numberOfImagesPerCol":1,"groupsPerStrip":0,"borderRadius":0,"boxShadow":0,"gridStyle":0,"mobilePanorama":false,"placeGroupsLtr":false,"viewMode":"preview","thumbnailSpacings":4,"galleryThumbnailsAlignment":"bottom","isMasonry":false,"isAutoSlideshow":false,"slideshowLoop":false,"autoSlideshowInterval":4,"bottomInfoHeight":0,"titlePlacement":["SHOW_ON_THE_LEFT","SHOW_BELOW"],"galleryTextAlign":"center","scrollSnap":false,"itemClick":"nothing","fullscreen":true,"videoPlay":"hover","scrollAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","slideAnimation":"SCROLL","scrollDirection":0,"scrollDuration":400,"overlayAnimation":"FADE_IN","arrowsPosition":0,"arrowsSize":23,"watermarkOpacity":40,"watermarkSize":40,"useWatermark":true,"watermarkDock":{"top":"auto","left":"auto","right":0,"bottom":0,"transform":"translate3d(0,0,0)"},"loadMoreAmount":"all","defaultShowInfoExpand":1,"allowLinkExpand":true,"expandInfoPosition":0,"allowFullscreenExpand":true,"fullscreenLoop":false,"galleryAlignExpand":"left","addToCartBorderWidth":1,"addToCartButtonText":"","slideshowInfoSize":200,"playButtonForAutoSlideShow":false,"allowSlideshowCounter":false,"hoveringBehaviour":"NEVER_SHOW","thumbnailSize":120,"magicLayoutSeed":1,"imageHoverAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imagePlacementAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","calculateTextBoxWidthMode":"PERCENT","textBoxHeight":26,"textBoxWidth":200,"textBoxWidthPercent":65,"textImageSpace":10,"textBoxBorderRadius":0,"textBoxBorderWidth":0,"loadMoreButtonText":"","loadMoreButtonBorderWidth":1,"loadMoreButtonBorderRadius":0,"imageInfoType":"ATTACHED_BACKGROUND","itemBorderWidth":0,"itemBorderRadius":0,"itemEnableShadow":false,"itemShadowBlur":20,"itemShadowDirection":135,"itemShadowSize":10,"imageLoadingMode":"BLUR","expandAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imageQuality":90,"usmToggle":false,"usm_a":0,"usm_r":0,"usm_t":0,"videoSound":false,"videoSpeed":"1","videoLoop":true,"jsonStyleParams":"","gallerySizeType":"px","gallerySizePx":292,"allowTitle":true,"allowContextMenu":true,"textsHorizontalPadding":-30,"itemBorderColor":{"themeName":"color_12","value":"rgba(237,237,236,0)"},"showVideoPlayButton":true,"galleryLayout":2,"calculateTextBoxHeightMode":"MANUAL","targetItemSize":292,"selectedLayout":"2|bottom|1|max|true|0|true","layoutsVersion":2,"selectedLayoutV2":2,"isSlideshowFont":true,"externalInfoHeight":26,"externalInfoWidth":0.65},"container":{"width":170,"galleryWidth":175,"galleryHeight":0,"scrollBase":0,"height":null}}
I AM a Poet

I Wanna Cry
I wanna cry Because I'm afraid to die
I wanna cry Because I feel like God punishes me when I lie
I wanna cry Because I wanna fly
I wanna cry Because as time moves I feel I'm standing by
I wanna cry Because it's hard for me to see the sun when rain is in my sky
I wanna cry Beacause I'm searching for a career not just a job where I wear a tie
I wanna cry Because everyday I wanna smile and be happy but you'll only see me sigh
I wanna cry Because I wanna let people in but I'm afraid they'll eventually say bye
I wanna cry Because I wanna move forward but I'm afraid to try
I wanna cry Because nothing comes out so I pray, but God doesn't hear my cry
With it being National Poetry Month, I decided to share an old poem I wrote while in the midst of one roughest patches I had with depression and anxiety. I wrote this poem exactly 2 years ago one night in my home. What was written was short, but summed up how I felt at that moment and over several years of my life. Even looking at it today, I couldn't even picture who I was, what I looked like, or how I was functioning. I'm honestly embarrassed by reading it and knowing I was in that place, but I AM not a Victim. I AM Strong. We all will have rough patches, but we must know and trust we will survive. Back when I wrote this poem I didn't believe I would make it through. I was so use to being negative that it was more comfortable to stay in that space. I've learned no matter how positive I Am, I will still go through rough patches and experience tough times, but my mindset will determine how long I go through it and what lessons I will learn. I want to THANK YOU again for taking this journey with me!
Blessings,
Derek M. Silver