I AM Positively Affirming
My barber and I recently had a conversation and he brought up how powerful the mind is...I agreed and added, "it's so powerful it will have you thinking opposite of reality and even shape your reality."
I have been an advocate of positive affirmations since 2016 when I discovered Wayne Dyer videos on YouTube. I didn't understand how important it was to positively affirm yourself until I started going to therapy and it was pointed out how hard I AM on myself...by every therapist I've worked with lol. Beating myself up was second nature and that's all I knew.
Growing up, my parents didn't affirm me positively. Everything was negative when it came to me or nothing at all. I've never heard from my parents, "I'm proud of you." Things I heard made me feel like I was the "bad child." Every step I took cracked an eggshell and my voice felt like a burden. As early as the age of 7 or 8 I can remember the pain I felt of being not feeling wanted, not being seen, not feeling or being worthy. I was mentally & emotionally traumatized at an early age and as I got older, I became a willing participant.
From low self-esteem, insecurity, depression, and anxiety...negative affirmations kept me in a mental and emotional quicksand. My reality was already shaped as a kid, and everything seemed to have a negative spin on it...I was just confirming what I was taught. That negative headspace had me in a head lock and that became my identity, what I saw every day in the mirror.
Being in that headspace, not only opened the door for me to continue to mentally & emotionally abuse myself, but it also allowed others to do the same. Since that was the norm for me, it was easy to believe that I deserved it and pretty much confirmed what I was always told and felt. Damn...hurts just typing it and even going back to that place in my mind.
If it wasn't for therapy, I would still be living under that cloud of negativity...reenforcing a cycle of lies about myself. Granted, I still struggle at times...getting over and healing from 20+ years of a habit you thought was true won't be perfect or easy. But I AM in a place now where I have created a new habit, a new routine, and new mindset.
The first thing I do before I go to bed at night and the first thing I do when I wake up is positively affirm myself. From screenshots in my phone, affirmations I have written down, to books of mantras, and to affirmations I have memorized...I AM fully equipped to affirm myself when old habits arise.
Lately, I have been more consistent with my mirror work...I speak affirmations to myself while looking at myself in the mirror. Being a lone wolf, not by choice at a young age and today in some regards...I don't have an emotional support system, so it is imperative for me to be disciplined with positively affirming myself. I AM grateful for the smile that's place on my face when I look in the mirror.